A Physical Practice

In need of a honest-to-goodness led Ashtanga class, I went to my friend Lindsay's (www.annarboryogi.blogspot.com) Ashtanga class after work yesterday. I had talked to her earlier in the day about how it is hard to find many classes in Ann Arbor that aren't, well, as I put it "namby-pamby". Lindsay and I came to yoga at the primarily same time, at the same place and did the same teacher training - because of this we share a similar yoga lineage so to speak. Our teachers were excellent, our training was authentic, challenging, and still what seems to us "real". Real meaning, it didn't coddle us and there wasn't a lot of room to slack. At times it was difficult and downright hard. But I still feel that when I first began doing yoga at Yoga Shala, I was getting my own little piece of Pattabhi Jois! Anyway, since those days are over I have yet to find a class, studio, or teacher I can really follow. Where is the teacher! I am told when I am ready the teacher will appear! I think the teacher came and went, I followed that teacher for a time and now I have to wonder, do I get another teacher?

But last night, in Lind's class I got a little bit of that "real" feeling back. She set out to lead what she said was "a very physical practice". And of course it wasn't like a power yoga class, devoid of any talk outside of the physical realm, it was very physically centered. At times it felt strict even, which was SUPER! Love it!
She slaps her hands together to initiate the between pose vinyasas which really prompts you and brings you "up" and present and willing to move into the vinyasa and not slack. She also threw in some Second Series poses which just infused the practice with fun and mental interest.

So, for now, I think I will attend that class regularly, even though it means driving to work that day instead of taking the bus. I figure if I can't take classes from my old teachers I can take classes from a dear friend who was also taught by my teachers. Namaste Linds!

Nothing is hard and fast.

It's ironic. My last post, a million years ago, was how I could not stop doing yoga, once I started a practice.

And then, I stopped! Ha! And then, stopped blogging because since I stopped practicing regularly I couldn't really talk about THAT. Well I could, but I felt sort of ashamed. But nonetheless, I am BACK!

When I say that I stopped practicing, I really mean I stopped my daily practice. I still did yoga, but it was much more infrequent. Summer took hold of me, new obsessions (estate sales & overall house projects) laid claim to my time. I knew, however, that that was impermanent.

Ahhhhh, impermanence. There isn't a concept that gets me through life more than the idea of impermanence. As days went by without a practice I somehow knew in the back of my mind that I would eventually float back, and I did. I let go of the attachment I had to the idea that I HAD to practice and just let myself do whatever it was I felt to do. And without that judgement of myself I avoided suffering. When I did practice I allowed myself that same "kindness", I just did what felt right then, whatever poses I moved into were fine by me. And gradually, I moved into my practice of yore! My daily NEED to practice returned! My tendancy to start a practice and not want it to end, holing up in my yoga space for longer than I had intended returned. I am SO grateful that my practice is always there for me, whether I leave it for a day or a month, or more. It's always available to me. I just have to remember that it's not about progress, it's not about the poses and what I can accomplish. It's about that sweet sweet feeling AFTER any practice.

Spring is the season of renewal, but I have always felt autumn was moreso - at least for me!

The problem with yoga...

...is that I can't stop. I can't just practice for 30 min, no matter if I tell myself I only have 30 minutes. What ARE these videos that profess "Yoga in 10 min. a Day!"?? Ain't no way. Once I get my yoga on, it's on and it pretty much matters little what I have planned after this alleged 30 min. practice I think I am going to do. Yoga vortex! Lovely!

Today's practice was one of those, practices where I set out to keep it short, and ended up doing full fledge "yoga potpourri", I do whatever comes, and these practices are so blissful, I just listen, I just follow. I am loving Firelog pose right now, and that pose used to make my knees scream. And oddly enough, I think Warrior 2 is one of my favorites right now, which leads me to believe my hips are dictating my practice, which makes sense, all the sitting I do at work. In addition I am imbuing my practice with these core strenghtening sequences - for instance:
Begin with Surya Namascar B, when you get to Warrior I, move from there to Vrksasana, flow into Warrior III, leave arms in Warrior I postition, back to Vrksasana, back to Warrior I and finish Surya Namaskar B. Good times!

Today my friend said to me, while she was wrestling with the fax machine,
"The fax machine is helping me to become one with rage."

And once again I am reminded that work is an excellent place to practice non-asana yoga.It feels to me that without me really noticing, my yoga practice really DOES come in to play OFF the mat. It's not always something at the forefront of my mind, I should help it to be there though.

Rollin' Deep with Mula Bandha

This link is an in-depth (no pun intended!) look at mula bandha. I found it a good read, as a yoga student and teacher.

Are You Engaging Your Mula Bandha Correctly?

Bad yogi has birthday, forgets yoga

Ok I didn't forget yoga, I just didn't practice for 5 days. Makes a body cranky!! But life just took me out of my rituals and I went on the ride, just for the hell of it. I didn't try to fit anything in, anything that didn't just happen. So my birthday was on a Saturday, which means it really started on Friday and went until Sunday. There was a lot of eating and antique shopping. There was not a lot of yoga. Yoga is daily life, for me, and birthdays, well, are not-I guess.

But I did practice yesterday and HELLO! this yogini just forgot how much she loves mat time! Holy crap! I know it was only 5 days, but that's a long time without a practice. Practice is sometimes like a person to me, and when I neglect it I feel the need to apologize to my yoga practice. So I whisper to my mat "I'm sorry, you're right, you are so patient, I am bad, forgive me. You rule."

Breathe In One-Two, Breathe Out One-Two

There are many times when I just don't know what to do. There are times when I dip deep into my yogi mind and still, can't seem to find a "right answer". This occurred today, when, at the gym, in the room designated for yoga a dude came in with headphones on and a jump rope in tow. There was one other girl doing her yoga practice in the room aside from me, but our presence didn't seem to phase this guy. He came in and proceeded to jump & stop, jump & stop, over and over again. I was incredulous. I mean, what balls! Here's this silent room, without any lights, clearly labeled YOGA ROOM and he seems to think its okay to bring his cardio-jam into this space.

I was conflicted; I didn't know if I should SAY something or not. I mean, I am known to act as a general policewoman in a lot of situations, but I have been working on quelling that. I thought, "maybe this jerk will just jump for a little bit and leave"? I started to wonder if it was best to just practice with him there doing his thing, I wondered if that was I *should* do according to say, oh, Patanjali. Was I supposed to create my own yoga island on my mat and go so far deep inside my breath that I didn't even hear him? Is it up to me to make a situation that could be wrong, right? I was struggling to separate my personal offense from what was more "yoga-like". And because I didn't feel like sitting there all night comtemplating what I SHOULD do, because what I really wanted to do was get on with my practice (but one could argue that this inner dialog I was having IS part of my yoga practice, whoa) I just started at him from my side of the room. He didn't seem to take the hint. And THAT made me VERY ANNOYED. He didn't seem like he was going to keep it brief. So after sitting and staring with no effect. I couldn't hold my tongue. But I DID self-talk myself down from chewing him a new asshole. I felt it might be better if I was NICE to him. I know, gasp! Nice! And I was! I just asked if he could do that somewhere else as this was a space just for yoga and the gym has a lot of spot where he can jump rope. Did he like me saying this? No.
But I was NICE, HAHAHAHA! I smiled even! So what was he going to do? Well, he was going to leave. And he did. And I felt like a yoga superhero, saving the yoga room from Jumping Man-Beast.

And then, I was on with my yoga practice, which once again at the gym, was very good. Especially with someone else practicing in the room. Much like Mysore practice. There's a lot to be said for group practice that isn't lead, just a collective consciousness promoting more focus. I also am loving how my practice is very organic and fluid these days. I don't set a sequence in my mind, I don't set an expectation, I just basically start with Surya Namaskars A & B, and then let it flow, doing standing poses and then moving down to the floor. It's very vinyasa, which I feel is so natural and intuitive - counterposes and steady breath decide what poses follow which. I was easy on myself in the twists and back bending because my backs needs the rest. When I felt like going deeper I would call to mind the concept of ASTEYA, careful not to "steal" the health of my back, not to "take" more than I needed.

And....again

A week ago today I skipped my Photoshop class and instead did a niiiiice yoga practice at home. I loved that day, and today I have to go to class, got to class and sit for 4 hours after sitting at work for 7 hours. I hear that this will all be over before I know it and May will come, birds will sing, sun will shine, margaritas will appear and 4 hour evening classes will die die die. I must believe this is true, or else SOMEONE will again be skipping class and instead flipping on a space heater and rolling out a yoga mat.

UPDATE: I quit the class. Yes, I just quit. I decided on my way there that it's just not worth it, I am learning enough from the textbook that the instructor follows exactly, I wake up Thursday morning grumpy and well, I just knew, I KNEW, that since it's was only Feb. and I felt this way, I would never make it May. So just like that, I decided. And once I did I felt so elated! So elated I went to a class at the gym, and then, of course, did yoga.