12 September 2008

Nothing is hard and fast.

It's ironic. My last post, a million years ago, was how I could not stop doing yoga, once I started a practice.

And then, I stopped! Ha! And then, stopped blogging because since I stopped practicing regularly I couldn't really talk about THAT. Well I could, but I felt sort of ashamed. But nonetheless, I am BACK!

When I say that I stopped practicing, I really mean I stopped my daily practice. I still did yoga, but it was much more infrequent. Summer took hold of me, new obsessions (estate sales & overall house projects) laid claim to my time. I knew, however, that that was impermanent.

Ahhhhh, impermanence. There isn't a concept that gets me through life more than the idea of impermanence. As days went by without a practice I somehow knew in the back of my mind that I would eventually float back, and I did. I let go of the attachment I had to the idea that I HAD to practice and just let myself do whatever it was I felt to do. And without that judgement of myself I avoided suffering. When I did practice I allowed myself that same "kindness", I just did what felt right then, whatever poses I moved into were fine by me. And gradually, I moved into my practice of yore! My daily NEED to practice returned! My tendancy to start a practice and not want it to end, holing up in my yoga space for longer than I had intended returned. I am SO grateful that my practice is always there for me, whether I leave it for a day or a month, or more. It's always available to me. I just have to remember that it's not about progress, it's not about the poses and what I can accomplish. It's about that sweet sweet feeling AFTER any practice.

Spring is the season of renewal, but I have always felt autumn was moreso - at least for me!

1 comment:

Felicity Bell said...

Hi Lauren, I know just what you mean about letting go of the "I must practice" mind chatter and letting in the "I want to practice" feeling. I have this conversation with myself on a near daily basis each morning when I wake up, feel hungry and stiff, and don't want to get on the mat. It's such a weird thing because I absolutely love yoga, but somehow the idea that I must do it pulls me out of that feeling of presence that makes yoga special for me. Perhaps, I'll leave asana for later in the day and simply meditate on witnessing the fluctuations of the mind in the morning. If you can't beat them, witness them!