Practice at work

Yesterday I took my lunch hour to practice yoga at work. Strategically I wore yoga-y clothes under my work clothes so I could shed a layer and be ready to go. I just shut my office door and cranked up some ragas and away I went. I even have a nice wall space to practice arm balance inversions. I have often planned to do lunchtime yoga but somehow never managed it. It was great to transform my workspace into a whole new environment, and it took so little effort. I did only a 30 min. practice but I think it was complete and I am sure it really helped combat the havoc reeked on the body from sitting in a chair all day (although I DO it in my chair all sorts of unconventional ways).

I am excited because tonight I will practice at the gym in the giant yoga room, all by myself and since there isn't any way to play music in there I feel like I create a super meditative space by just focusing on pranayama.

It's snowing again, fat happy snow!

How Yogini Got Her Groove Back

Better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice.
Better than knowledge is meditation.
But better still is surrender of attachment to results
(of one's actions), because there follows immediate peace.
Bhagavad Gita 12:12

I've listened to the universe, the universe sent me a back boo-boo (noooo, the universe didn't really send me a back boo-boo, I incurred that from hurrying toward some unarticulated perfection in my yoga practice/running regimen), and then told me to slow my asana practice down, told me to lay off the running for a bit, to tap into the transformative power of my bandhas.

And interestingly enough, the universe really knew what I needed. It seemed once I *listened* that all signs pointed in the same direction. I did the inversion workshop and still the same message came to me - "chill your ass out!". So for about three days (that a lot of non-asana-ing for me!), I have spent some time reflecting on the yoga outside asana.

I was getting very attached, to so many things. I even got attached to feeling like I MUST practice everyday, and while I still think doing yoga everyday is pretty important, I can see now that practicing everyday isn't even something I can choose to do or not do anymore, or at least, at this place in time. Even when I can't practice poses, I still practice, as I have said, on my way to work, at work, at home, at the store, in a conversion with a friend -everywhere. But lately I have been more specific about this non-asana practice. I must consider the weird, nameless "yoga potpourri" I do when I come home from work and just basically wallow around in the yoga room in front of the space heater, and I must consider the dedicated meditation time I have been giving myself. This is yoga. When you pull back on the postures for a few days you really get into the meat of all the else of yoga.

And this week something came to me via my friend Lindsay. She sent me an excerpt from Osho:

"That's why I am talking; I am talking on Patanjali because of you.
You are in a hurry and I hope Patanjali will bring down your impatience;
he will pull you down, back to the reality.
He will bring you to your senses."

All that being said, I was able to practice asanas today and I feel like a million dollars!!

Maybe it's time to focus on a non-asana practice?

Yesterday I attended an Inversion Workshop given by Kate Greer, from Sonic Yoga in New York, it was a fairly shoulder and resolve tiring workshop for me, and although I did learn a few good pointers, I overall felt really inadequate. I realize that yoga is without goals, but its nearly impossible for most (all?) of us NOT to at least aspire (better word for goal-setting!) to be better at the fun stuff in yoga, and by fun stuff, I mean inversions. Sure, I've got headstand down, and sometimes even handstand if I can kick up, but this woman opened up a pandora's box for me of all kinds of "floating" through action. What it boils down to for me is that I need to spend some serious time focusing on moola (mula) bandha, as in maybe just do a practice of just sitting with mula bandha engaged, because for me keeping it engaged through my practice hasn't come.

Also, I wrenched my piriformis somehow and have been experiencing some serious low back and hip pain, that oddly enough become dormant during the workshop, but is in full force today, so no practice, no gym, just rest. And well, it's almost as if the universe is like, "Lauren, work on your damn moola bandha for few days (or hell, a lifetime)", so I'll listen. It is after all, the universe talking.

Good choice, feels good!

Almost never does someone do yoga and go, "damn, I wish I would not have done that, it sucked". But sometimes we do eat 7 no-bake cookies and go, "damn, I wish I didn't eat all those, I feel like shit" (last night).

Today I felt awful, I thought I was coming down with the dreaded "something", in fact it's be upon me for 3 days now and my antibodies are just chargin' at this sick-beast and most of the time, winning. But this morning I was sure it was ON, I was sure I HAD it. I went to work anyway, and thought I might make it to lunchtime and then go home, but I started feeling better. Now Wednesdays are extra special because my friend Lindsay teaches ashtanga at the *nice* studio in town. I was very sad to think I would have to miss it. Near 5pm, I was still not sure if I'd go, but Linds told me some good advice (we also work together, yes that's so cool!) and that was that I should come to class and just take it WAY easy and listen to my body...what a great idea, because I love the vibe that class gets going and it would be great just to be in it in any way, shape, or form.

BUT
something wonderful happened! I had one of my best feeling practices and I felt strong and healthy! I think it was the absence of any expectation, and also I kept this super calm sensation going by mega-focusing on my breath, the postures LITERALLY came last, as in they were a result of a calm mind and constant attention to pranayama. It's so freaking great when that happens.

Surprisingly, I had a very good, solid practice today at the gym! Granted this gym is way nice (the Health and Fitness Center at WCC), there is a large room set aside for yoga and when there isn't a class being held in there (which is hardly ever) anyone can practice in there on their own (hardly anyone ever does). So I used to the room today to enjoy a solid 60 min. practice. When I was almost finished practicing, a woman who used to come to the studio where I used to teach and practice came in and did her quite solid ashtanga practice. It was so nice to be silent with only someone else's ujjayi breathing in the room. It helped my focus, I have to say. It was also nice to connect without speaking in a sense. After yoga I languished in the steam room, which is always such a luxury and makes me feel all noodley. Go WoYoPracMo!

I am the opposite of a monkey...

because I think my arms are too short. well, I KNOW my limbs are short, and this is pretty cool when I want to do say, Paschimottanasana, or even Utthita Hasta Padagustasana .

BUT, I think it may very well be that my arms are too short to perform the full expression of Tolasana.

It seems this way because no matter what I seem to do I cannot leave my hands TOTALLY flat on the ground, I am always on my fingers and balls of hands - sounds excruciating right? - well it nearly is. Maybe I am just not lifting through the bandhas enough, specifically mula bandha? Recently, I have discovered the difference it makes when you really engage your mula bandha when taking Bakasana - the effort is less and you just sort of hinge up there without feeling like your hips and butt weight a million pounds (hey, feeling lighter is always nice). So although I feel like I just might be physiologically incapable of Tolasana, I am guessing I am not. But man, when I am nearing the end of practice and perhaps feeling tired it sure is easier to think, "I can't do Tolasana because I am just not BUILT to", rather than, "girl, you ain't doing it 'cause you just can't do it yet!"

Effort to Ease

"Perfection in an asana is achieved when the effort to perform it becomes effortless and the infinite being within is reached"
Yoga Sutra 2:47

So far I have REALLY perfected Savasana. All the rest...well, practice and all is coming.
But, what if it never does? That's okay too. This practice has no end point, we might say that samadhi is it, but samadhi can be but a moment and then we are back in the practice, practicing. I say, thank heavens, because it's like when I am doing anything I love, I don't want it to end. Say, I make a batch of vegan cupcakes; I want to eat them all, and then I don't want to eat them all because then they will be gone. I want them to last and last yet I want experience them. I can't have all this. But with yoga I can have all this. I can practice again and again and I can have this practice for all time, there is not danger of an end. How cool!